ma_feathers

HALLELUJAH!

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:59:12 GMT

All biopsies came back *boringly* normal. NO to hysterectomy (voluntary or otherwise). YES to bioidenticals. And a thousand million thanks to everyone who prayed and visualized, but most especially to Janet Jacobs, the most miraculous energy worker I've ever known. Break out the champagne, baby!!!

Manfred and Oswald's thoughts on the dog visit this weekend

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:07:38 GMT

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 09:27:26 GMT

Hello all! Surgery went very well...team here at St. Peter's is on a par with the crew at Newton-Wellesley back in 2004. Only glitch was that whatever anesthesia they administered was NOT the happy cocktail my sleepytime guru Dick Pino uses in Boston, and it gave me 12-14 hours of rip-roaring nausea and a migraine-type headache -- so I came home and slept from 3pm to 3am.

Per Dr. Joyce, everything looks fine, though she of course took a biopsy to be thorough.

To deal with things, I did what I did in Boston -- I created my 'team' as soon as I was admitted. By the end of the visit today, I had nurses writing their names down with their departments (they wanted their share of the cheesecake I always send to my surgical team after a successful procedure) and one of them was so struck and awed by my calling that she took my card and wants a reading. I have to chuckle.

Carle says he's seen me do this time and time again -- gauge the players, give them just the right mix of knowledgeable patient, comedienne and smart-ass, and they all insist on being part of my surgical team if/when I'm back in their bailiwick.

Whatever I did, whatever everyone did out there with prayers and love -- it worked. And that's all that matters.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 03:13:48 GMT

Surgery tomorrow, scheduled for 9:40 am. Please light candles, hang beads on the deer antlers, do whatever you can to envision superlatively competent doctors, an easy anesthesia experience, no glitches and nothing untoward found in the entire process.

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:28:56 GMT

Pleasant dinner at Taste of Europe, but sure didn't/couldn't compare to my cooking. On the other hand, I didn't have to cook, serve or clean up. It's a fair tradeoff.

Came home to finish off the soup made from the supposed-to-be-Thanksgiving-turkey, put the cooked meat in bags for the freezer -- and suddenly realized that the sirloin tip roast I'd bought at the same time as the turkey had thawed and therefore had to be cooked, not refrozen. Ah well.

That's what my sauerbraten recipe is for. Marinate the heck out of it for a couple of days and then cook it good and German-proper.

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Meanwhile, my friend Staci told me that there is a lot of good stuff on syncmyride.com and I need to update my car system. Would have been easy before they closed our local Ford dealer...now it's an entire morning's worth of hoorah up in Nelliston. On the list for AFTER my surgery on Tuesday, I think.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:05:02 GMT

Bought our new washer/dryer pair at Sears last night. Thought we got a good bargain ($1445 for the pair) until we saw the EXACT SAME PAIR advertised at $998 at Home Depot.

Had to jump through several hoops and get a little growly with Sears, but I made them honor their Price Match Policy (if you find the same thing cheaper elsewhere close, you get the difference plus 10% plus a refund of the tax on the difference).

We are $530 to the good today because I insisted they Play By Da Rules. And Carle thinks his wife is brilliant, again.

(I'll take that.)

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:12:09 GMT

Best drug to cure insomnia: a big fuzzy Maine Coon cuddled by your head, purring rhythmically. Works like a charm (once you get the Li'l Nuisance, who won't lie still for NUFFIN', out of the room and shut the door).

Only got a couple of hours, but at least it's something.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:24:04 GMT

You know your fuzzchild is the Best Cat in the World when you look up at him on his perch on your shelf, murmur silly Momcat stuff at him -- and he gives you that slow Catblink and the purr starts without a single move on your part.

Feeding Time at the Zoo

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:10:17 GMT

In order for Manfred to be able to eat his food in peace, he needs to be fed on top of the bookcase while I distract Li'l Nuisance with his own dish on the floor.

In order for Manfred to get to eat his crunchytreats in peace, I have to throw Li'l Nuisance's all over the house so he can pretend to be Mighty Hunter and catch them fiercely.

And Bumble wanders through the scenery, occasionally finding a treat for himself, but otherwise looking, as always, for the Road Back to Planet "Huh?".

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:44:54 GMT

Up at 3:30 again this morning. Sometimes I just snap awake and that's it for sleep, no matter what I do.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:26:37 GMT

I promised The Husband I'd make home-created pizza tonight, since I got one of those rustica crusts at the co-op. However, upon perusing the 'fridge, I found we were out of mozzarella cheese, De Riguer for proper pizza.

Well, if you're a traditionalist, maybe.

I hauled up a pound of the grassfed ground beef from the freezer, sauteed it with onions, threw a few cremini mushrooms and the rest of a bottle of pasta sauce on the crust, and topped the crust with ground beef and fine cheddar.

Voila. Cheeseburger pizza. My Brilliant Wife designation is still intact.

the adventures of Little Nuisance, part 361...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:19:59 GMT

Found Oswald II licking a cut avocado today. Didn't look like he'd done more than a taste, but all the online websites said POISON! DANGEROUS! So I called the vet.

Uncle Dr. Dave (proprietor of Uncle Dave's Cat Repair and Detailing, otherwise known as Howes Cave Animal Hospital) says no, it's not, certainly not at the level he got some. "Don't make it a habit," he said.

I replied, "Of course not. They're EXPENSIVE and that one was MINE anyway!"

Challenge/Good: a Friday the 13th Mantra

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:28:47 GMT

CHALLENGE: The dryer died with all the clothes I need to wear this weekend.
GOOD: It's a beautiful sunny day.
CHALLENGE: It's not warm enough to dry clothing fast on the line outside.
GOOD: I have a friend who will lend me her dryer.
CHALLENGE: I have to cart unpacked, wet clothing to pick up my assistant.
GOOD: While I dry my clothing at her house we can finish my new emerald kimono in time for the show this weekend.
CHALLENGE: Not sure if my usual show jewelry will match it.
GOOD: I can bring out some older stuff I haven't worn for a while.
GOOD: My Bestest Buddy Kansas Transplants will meet us at the show hall to help set up and then have dinner.
GOOD: This weekend is my final show of 2009 and I get six weeks to plan for 2010.
GOOD: The Husband can fix the dryer this weekend while I'm gone.
GOOD: I got a good and proper Cuddle Time in with Manfred the Maine Coon without Oswald the Little Nuisance landing on top of us for His Too.

Notice there are far more goods than challenges -- even when I had to think about it.

GOOD: Anything you want it to be
CHALLENGE: Anything that noodges you to think up something good about it.

And life has more Good than Challenge, if you squint at it right.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:34:22 GMT

Having great fun redesigning my "psychic parties" brochure from the ground up. Chris Altmann (www.lunalakedesign.com) is just SO wickedly fabulous at thinking outside the box. Will post for thoughts/comments/suggestions when we have a solid semi-final draft.

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:54:06 GMT

If you would bring light and healing to humanity
but believe your impact constricted by role,
your power weakened by circumstance,
your reach limited by injury from physical accident,
rest assured that all the world knows that you are here.
You are heard. You are seen.
And where your voice does not carry
and your feet cannot tread,
even so does every soul feel your presence
on levels beyond conscious, human perception.
And your impact radiates farther still,
throughout the dimensions,
dimensions that appear to be
but are not
far removed from you.
The light you live,
the forgiveness you extend,
the healing you create,
and the love you remember yourself to be
are deeply felt by all in body
and all in spirit.

From the book Your Soul's Plan: Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born (Copyright © 2007, 2009) by Robert Schwartz www.YourSoulsPlan.com
Published by North Atlantic Books

Owwies for the south end of a northbound Mainer

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:02:32 GMT

Oswald the Second is back from the vet. Hungry, thirsty and tired -- and a wee bit sore, as to be expected. Big Bruvver Manfred washes Li'l Bruvver whenever Li'l will hold still for it -- would that we all had such love and care after surgical indignities!

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:32:04 GMT

Fall meal perfection: pasture-raised Weisswurst, sweet potatoes, carrots and a sprinkling of golden raisins in a simmer-sauce consisting of maple syrup, brown sugar, apple cider, butter, a spark of lemon juice and a touch of cinnamon and clove. Pile into a Dutch oven and let it think about itself for a couple of hours at 375 degrees. Makes for several servings, one ecstatic husband and kudos to hang on the kitchen pegs next to the potholders...

BENIGN!! With a few interesting side trips...

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:15:42 GMT

Okay, the most important thing is this: the biopsy came back benign. They are not quite sure if it's 100%, however, because certain things that are usually part of biopsies in that part of the anatomy were missing. Is it because I've been menopausal so long? Or because the nurse practitioner didn't get enough tissue? Answer "A" is everyone's bet, but this OB/GYN is thoughtful and thorough.

So -- an outpatient procedure on November 17th to make sure all is as it should be, and then we think ahead to future options to keep me (a) as safe as possible and (b) still allow the bioidenticals. Could it be a hysterectomy? Yes, but my choice. This is a doctor who addresses the psychological issues FIRST instead of "cut first, excuses later" as they did in Massachusetts.

Also, I was able to locate a good oncologist here in the Albany area who will take over my care from the one in Boston who got so incensed and insulted my husband when he asked her why she wasn't addressing any quality of life issues.

So -- lots of good things today. And wine will be raised in two LARGE glasses.

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:38:30 GMT

The first snow of the year!! Only a thin icing, but the six year old in me woke up like a shot when the big white flakes came drifting past the window just before dawn.

Now let's make sure it holds off until I get to Cortland today for this weekend's psychic fair.

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:05:27 GMT

Endometrial biopsy occurred today. Nurse practitioner was a butcher with the bedside manner of a subway toilet. But it's done.

On the other hand, my primary care physician, Dr. Ron Stram, just called to make sure I was all right, to tell me that he understood how much I'd already gone through, that HE thought it was going to be a negative biopsy (which we all are praying for, and agree with) and that no matter what happened, they were there for me, had my back and would go over every option available -- that I wasn't alone in this. (This last bit verbatim.)

Now THAT is a doctor worth his Hippocratic Oath.

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:06:45 GMT

Questionable ultrasound results. Not good. Talking to the first of a series of folks tomorrow. Hysterectomy looming on the horizon -- or worse. We're counting on hysterectomy and then nothing more.

A hurricane of tears earlier this afternoon. Now -- numb. Battle mode. Probably no sleep tonight. The waiting is the worst part.

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:55:30 GMT

Riotous fall color is running up the mountain outside my kitchen window, and a Maine Coon kitten has himself tucked around my wrist, purring as he sleeps. Tiny moments of beauty and untrammelled affection are as delicious as the finest wine, and just as intoxicating.

And your thoughts are...?

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:38:17 GMT

Would love folks' opinions on

(a) the H1N1 craziness,

(b) are you getting either the annual flu shot or the H1N1 (Dr. Andrew Weil isn't, and he's no dumb puppy, so I'm wavering)

and

(c) what are you doing to stay healthy in the meanwhile?

Inventive Yogurt Bread (or It's Cold Outside and I Need to Bake Something)

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:12:55 GMT

What do you do if you have a yogurt (or two) in the fridge that The Husband doesn’t like straight and isn’t diet enough for you? You get out the breadmaker and play…

This versatile recipe produces a rich-tasting bread that is especially delicious right out of the oven with honey or preserves.

Put in the breadmaker, in this order (all at room temperature):

2 eggs

¼ cup butter

¼ cup water

1 cup yogurt (fruit or vanilla flavored is good)

3/8-1/2 cup sugar

¼ tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 package active dry yeast (a shade over 2 tsp bread machine yeast)

4 to 4 ½ cups bread flour (I use half whole wheat, half unbleached white, all organic)

Get the puppy cranking. At the beep, add your favorite bread noms (household word for extra treats; refer to

www.icanhascheezburger.com for further enlightenment). Current delights: sultana raisins and almonds, with a fling or two of true cinnamon.

And let the smell of MMMMMMMMMMMMMM perfume the house. Perfect on a cold fall afternoon...

A Fearless week

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:03:55 GMT

I was at the Option Institute in Massachusetts last week, participating in their FEARLESS program. Option is always potent magic for me, a place of clarity and laser vision where I can address those things that I stop myself with, and change them solidly and long term.

The fear that I concentrated on -- that I wanted to dump forever -- was around health. Like my father the cardiologist (and I won't go into the stories that tell me why it's true!), I have been a real hypochondriac for most of my life, assuming that a twinge here or there is cancer...a stroke...a heart attack. This pattern had gotten to the point where I had constant anxiety, and the panic always waiting to break out was greviously harming an otherwise marvelous marriage -- not to mention taking its real toll on my health simply because that kind of attitude depresses your immune system.

By the end of the week, I was able to dissect where the fears were from -- why they were logical to me -- how I always used fear-generating questions and worst case scenarios to prompt myself. Even had a bit of what I laughingly called "work study": the second day there I was slammed by a hormonal migraine and the worst nausea I have ever experienced. (While I've been blessed never to go through it,. I imagine this is what chemotherapy side effects are like). Taking the situation as a prompt from the Universe to put my "money where my mouth was," I treated it completely differently than I would have previously. Simple things such as an internal wellness mantra instead of panic predictions; looking for the next moment of peace rather than pain or nausea, enabled me to ride the event and come out whole on the other side. And when I woke up at 4:30 the next morning with the pain and nausea gone, I did not wonder where it went. I merely felt gratitude it was gone, and completely accepted it was past.

One of the simplest but most powerful reminders I received this week came at the very end, when Clyde Haberman (one of their great teachers) reminded us that "the fearless work really begins the moment you leave here." I always leave Option on a wave of love and possibility, but this time decided to start working it the moment I came home. Talks with Carle -- serious, open, loving, accepting -- have yielded a new mutual understanding of where we are and where we want to go, allowing him to be part of my path in ways I never allowed before. Coming up on our seventh wedding anniversary, the old "seven year itch" people talk about is, for us, an itch to learn more, love more, and make the next seven years even better.

And my favorite quote from the whole weekend? "My ability to create is unlimited without fear." Screw the news reports...the flu pan(ic)demic...the fearmongers and naysayers. I've got my life ahead of me and intend to live the way Lazarus Long always advised:

To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks!